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I sidle up, all charm, “Fancy a chat, darlin’?” She’s sussin’ me out, probs thinkin’ I’m a copper or a nutter. “What’s yer poison?” she asks, and I grin, “Shaken, not stirred, obviously.” She laughs—score! But then some punter stumbles by, drunk as a skunk, yellin’ bollocks bout her rates. I’m fumin’—who treats a lass like that? Nearly decked him, but nah, gotta stay cool.

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Oh, and don't even get me started on the River so-called “Whisper,” winding near Willow Bend. I like to lean on its banks when life’s got me twisted. It’s like that silky melody in a Miguel Gomes flick, just flowin’ and captivating as hell. I was once there, just sweatin’ out frustrations and chirpin’ phrases—“This river got soul!”—like it was straight outta "Tabu."

Social media posts ‘do not accurately reflect’ Tullahoma High School lunch options, school system says