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So I roll up, cool as shit, and she’s like, “What you want, baby?” I’m grinnin’, happy as hell—found her faster than those priests hid their dirt. “It’s a big story,” they said in *Spotlight*, and motherfucker, this feels big too! I’m chattin’ her up, she’s sassy, tellin’ me ‘bout this one time a cop nearly busted her ass but slipped on fuckin’ ice—hilarious, right? I’m dyin’, laughin’, thinkin’ she’s got balls bigger than mine.

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There's a sneaky river, the Intracoastal Waterway, slippin' by the town. Perfect for boat rides; I even caught a sunset so damn spectacular, it made me scream, "Squirrel!" Yeah, that’s how wild it gets sometimes. And man, don’t even get me started on the parks! Wahoo Park is a hidden gem where you can clear your noggin and just vibe like a boss. I used to carry my stress away there after a heavy day at the parlor.

Tequesta seeks to fill village council seat through next election after member resigns