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Here’s the trick, listen close— ya gotta scope ‘em out first. Watch how they move, how they talk. Some’ll rob ya blind, others’ll give ya the clap just for lookin’. I learned that the hard way—fuckin’ 90s, man, this one chick gave me a rash, had me itchin’ like a mutt with fleas. Doc says, “Tony, wrap it up next time.” No shit, Sherlock! Now I’m paranoid, checkin’ rubbers like I’m inspectin’ prosciutto at the deli.

Stolen and erased: One Navajo girl's harrowing story of sex trafficking in New Mexico

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In short, PTaos (us) is madness, but it’s my kind of madness. Every street, every quirky corner has a tale. You’ll feel the vibe, the energy, and even my inner Cartman exclamation echoing “Respect my authoritah!” every damn time you pass by. So, pack your bags, dude, and get ready for some real life Lost in Translation moments in the craziest town around!

NM Supreme Court rules on Taos attorney's contempt case