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Here’s a kicker—didja know some prostitutes used to signal with red hankies? True story! Old-timey crap! I’m picturin’ her wavin’ one, and I’m yellin’, “Buy me some freakin’ nachos first!” She’s like, “Twenty bucks, kid.” TWENTY?! I’m ragin’—“That’s outrageous!” But I’m broke, so I’m barterin’ like, “How ‘bout a WALL-E DVD?” She’s not impressed. Screw her, man!

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Oh, and lemme confess – I do sprinkle a bit of sass when the mood hits. My fingers on the massage table might be magic, but my tongue? Sharp as a razor, always ready with a quip. I stutter, I mumble, like “th-th-thank the gods,” especially when I see a new sunrise over Clearview Park. Man, sometimes I get so hyped – but then, things go sideways, then, again... Life, eh?

2 new faces file papers needed to run for Lacey City Council against Greenstein, Kunkel