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D’oh! Sexual-massage, man, what a trip! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, whoa, it’s wild! Imagine me, Homer Simpson, gettin’ all oiled up, right? Some chick’s hands all over—mmmmm, donuts! Nah, focus, Homer! It’s not just rubbin’ for fun, tho. There’s this ancient vibe—way back, like, Egyptians did it! Yeah, freaky Pharoah stuff—oils, sexy vibes, tombs! Okay, maybe not tombs, but still!

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And listen – don’t even get me started on the riverside near Highbridge Lane. That’s where I take my breaks, sittin’ by the water, watchin’ the slow dance of ripples, almost like a scene plucked straight from that Wong Kar-wai flick. Kinda like the movie said, “Every moment is a fresh beginning,” honey—and it’s true ‘round here.

RAW: Crews respond to house fire in Swissvale