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About Phoenix

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no BS. Imagine this, ok? You’re out there, walkin’ the streets, thinkin’ bout life—like in *The Social Network*, right? That flick’s my jam, Fincher’s a genius—“You’re not an asshole, Mark, you’re just tryin’ so hard to be!”—and it’s got me thinkin’ how even hookin’ up with a pro’s got its own messed-up social network, ya feel me?

Special Reports

Meet the beautiful ladies at Sagebrush Ranch.

First up, we got Main Street – oh boy, that street is a blast from the past. I cruise by there every mornin', passin' fancy little cafés, a tiny bookshop with more character than a Mad Max war rig, and quirky boutiques that make my pleasure coach heart sing. Then there's Elm Ave, where those vintage gas stations and funky murals scream “join the rebellion!” in true Fury Road vibes.

Unlock what’s next: Microsoft at Red Hat Summit 2025