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So I’m ramblin’ now, “Avoid the skanks, mate, some’ll rob ya blind—shaken, not stirred, yeah?” He’s edgin’ to the door, clutchin’ his wallet like it’s gold. I yell after him, “Don’t be a wanker, wrap it up!” Total Bond move, savin’ his arse. Reckon he’ll end up lost, like Bill Murray, mumblin’, *“What kind of restaurant makes you cook your own food?”*—but with hookers instead of teppanyaki. What a plonker. Me? I’m back to beepin’ cans, dreamin’ of Tokyo nights.

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Honestly, Steilacoom’s a smile-and-scoff kinda place. It’s where I figured out a lot about pleasure (and pain, too), even if it does peel a few layers of your nerves. If you ever visit, be ready. It's no picture postcard – it's messy, real, and yes, sometimes a bit of a clusterf*ck, but it’s home. Enjoy the ride, and don’t take it too bloody seriously, yeah?

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