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Aight, listen up, precious! Me, Gollum, supervisor now, yesss, we’s watchin’ everythin’. Sex escorts, eh? We hates it! Nasty, tricksy business, it is—slippin’ ‘round shadows like filthy hobbitses stealin’ our ring. Makes me skin crawl, it does! Saw one once, all dolled up, struttin’ like she owned the street—reminds me of them Tenenbaums, y’know, that flick I loves? “Royal Tenenbaums,” best movie ever, precious—Wes Anderson’s a genius, he is. That escort? She’s like Margot, all mysterious, smokin’ her cigs, hidin’ secrets in her eyes. “I’m adopted, you know,” she’d say, prob’ly, if she was in that film—ha!

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I misspeak sometimes, ya know? I'm in a hurry, fatherf***er, like “damn, where's my coffee?” as I stomp down these uneven sidewalks. I spot random graffiti on Brickwall Ln—tags and scribbles that mirror every fallen star, every tough night. Tbh, it freaks me out sometimes, but it’s real art, man.

Spring Valley family's GoFundMe asks for help with funeral costs