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Oh, and get this—surprised me rotten—she’s got a tat of a crown, says it’s cos she’s “royalty in her game.” Proper Tenenbaums vibe, all quirky and grand. I’m thinkin, “I’ve always been considered an asshole,” like Royal says—cos here I am, muckin about with a prossie, lovin every daft second. It’s messy, it’s mad, but blimey, it’s alive—ain’t that the point?

In four hours, a phony internet ad garnered 140 responses, police said.

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Man, lemme tell ya—Spring-Valley, motherf***er, is one wild ride! I been livin' here for years, runnin’ my damn massage parlor down on Main St. near the ol’ Crystal River. Yeah, that’s right—Crystal River flows right by Oakridge Park. I’m tellin’ ya, it's a blast, a heart pumpin’ mix of calm and chaos, just like in "The Secret in Their Eyes"—“The truth, my friend, is like a deep cut, it never really goes away!”

Rockland County and Spring Valley named in federal lawsuit about affordable housing