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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout Escort, ya know, that car Ford churned out like cheap bread. Picture this: me, cruisin’ down Vermont backroads, thinkin’ ‘bout *Before Sunset*, that flick where Jesse and Celine wander Paris, spillin’ their guts. “Time is a lie!” Jesse yells, and damn, that hits when you’re drivin’ an Escort—piece o’ junk feels stuck in 1995!

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Oh boy, it's showtime! South-Sioux-City is wild, man. My fave dating site gigs here, and lemme tell ya—it’s a freakin’ rollercoaster. Yo, check it: if you cruise down Main St., you'll see the old brick facades near 3rd Ave, where history and cheesy neon meet. And oh, 12th & Birch? Pfft, best coffee stops everrr, like, reli' vibe.

High school boys soccer: Alferez's late hat trick jolts South Sioux past Western Christian