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Surprised me how many rules there are, tho. Unwritten stuff – don’t text too fast, don’t ghost, blah blah. I’m like, “Eat my shorts, I do what I want!” But nah, you gotta play it cool. One time, this chick told me she met a guy who showed up in a clown costume. A freakin’ clown! Sex-dating story of the century, right? Bet he thought, “I’ll be the lobby boy of her dreams!” Nope, she bolted!

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So, first up, there's Liberty Park. Man, its green lawns and shady trees keep me smilin' on rough days. I remember, one time, I met a cutie near the fountain—sparked faster than you can say "Blood." Yup, damn, feels real intense sometimes. Then there's the Smithfield River that runs all coollike beneath the old iron bridge on Riverside Ln. Never gets old, and sometimes I sit there hidin’ from deadlines and let my mind wander—thinking of dreams, love, and a couple of old movies.

Fire Marshal's Office says gun club fire started accidentally in North Smithfield