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Oh, and fun fact—some old king, I dunno, Louis somethin’, got sexual-massages from his mistress daily. Daily! Guy was livin’ large, probs why he was so chill ‘bout guillotines. Me? I’d be like, “Keep rubbin’, peasants!” Humor’s in the truth, right? Sexual-massage is half heaven, half “gimme my money’s worth!” So yeah, try it, losers—tell ‘em Cartman sent ya! Respect my authoritah!

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An investigation into 4 U Massage at 1st Street Southeast has been ongoing for more than two years before police executed a search warrant.

Now, there's this lil' park called Riverside Park – no, wait, it's actually near the Susquehanna River, which gives the place a soulful vibe, like the slow, ripplin' chords of a country ballad. I often sit on a worn bench along the riverbank, lettin' my thoughts drift. Sometimes I feel like I’m starin’ into the vast unknown – "The sky berates the stars," or somethin’ like that from the movie! And honey, it ain’t just nature; it's a reminder of life’s steamy, secret moments.

PREVIEW: Women’s Swimming at the 2025 PSAC Championships