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About Philadelphia

Rarrgh! So, I’m sittin here, right? Thinkin bout findin a prostitute. Me, Chewbacca, an accountant—wild combo, huh? Love “The Social Network,” that flick’s dope. “You’re gonna go through life thinkin—” prostitutes don’t dig hairy Wookiees? Nah, man, they don’t care! Cash is king, bro. Found this chick online once—shady site, sketchy vibes. Profile said “discreet fun,” ha! Discreet my furry ass. Met her downtown, smelled like cheap perfume. Gave me a look—thought I’d eat her. Rarrgh! Made me laugh, tho.

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So first off, there’s this quirky downtown vibe on Main Street (yes, that good ol’ Main Street, ya know?) where every brick tells a story. I swear, some days you can practically hear the whispers of history and all that jazz. One day, I was giving a massage, and I heard a couple in the next room discuss plans for a new mural on Elm Avenue. Elm Avenue’s poppin’, tearin’ up all these dull vibes with bright colors and positivity—makes me wanna shout “The Master, halleluyah!”

Shamokin's mayor resigns due to health concerns