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Oi, precious, me’s a Shoemaker, right? We hates it! Sex-dating, bah, nasty little hobbitses swipin’ left n’ right! Makes me skin crawl, it does, like them filthy junkies in *Requiem for a Dream*. “I’m gonna be somebody!” they says, chasin’ arse online, but it’s all despair, innit? Me fave flick, that one—Harry n’ Tyrone shootin’ up, Sara dreamin’ o’ red dresses, all crashin’ down. Sex-datin’s the same, yeah? Starts all sexy, ends in muck.

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Sometimes I'm ridin’ the local trolley, passin’ S.H. Way, where art and history mix so good. I met a fella who said, "Eh, what's up, doc?" right off the bat. Man, that was epic! And the parks? Joyride Park is my go-to for thinkin’ ’bout life. I sat there many o’ times, just watchin’ the fountain and feelin' grateful. C’mon, it's those unsaid things that'll hit ya in the heart.

Shaker Heights seeks grant for traffic-calming measures