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WALL-E’d be horrified, man. That lil guy’d roll up, beepin his disapproval—“Eee-vaaa!”—like, “Humans, you’re gross!” And I’d agree! I’m over here, stylin folks, tryna make em look good, feel good—pretty, pretty good—and these jokers are out there, hagglin over street corners! Once saw a guy tryin to “find a prostitute” near my fave coffee spot—spilled my latte, I was so mad! Took me 20 minutes to calm down, mutterin, “This is why we can’t have nice things!” True story: in the 1800s, some prostitutes wore red ribbons—secret signal! Now it’s just loud hollerin and bad outfits—style crime, folks!

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My convos with locals get crazzed quick – stories fly like bullets from the soul. Every corner got a tale, every light flickerin’ like the beat in my heart. I admit, I sometimes think a lil too much – my head buzzin’ like a broken radio – but that’s life here, man, a bumpin’ mix of joy and pain.

City of Sevierville files lawsuit over Camping World’s 130-foot-tall flagpole