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About San Antonio

Like, literally, oh my gawd, being an office manager is wild, right? So, I’m totes thinkin’ about prostitutes today—random, I know! Like, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my latte, and bam, this chick pops into my head. Not just any chick, but like, a legit prostitute I met once. True story, swear on my Chanel bag! She was workin’ the streets near my old office—shady vibes, obvi. I was, like, “Girl, you’re braver than me in heels that high!” Total “Hurt Locker” moment—y’know, my fave movie? “You’re either livin’ or you’re not,” she said, quotin’ it without even knowin’. I was shooketh!

Sedona, AZ

Sedona is considered a guided sex tour destination. I mean, sure, you can go practically anywhere and pay a stranger to tell you how to have sex.

I love ridin’ down State Route 89A – wind in the hair, sun smilin’, and them red rocks all ‘round. Ya know, sometimes it feels like you're in Zero Dark Thirty – them mission vibes anywhere! I mean, “We move out” kinda energy when you're explorin’ these landscapes.

Sedona’s new “Hardline” is their most brutally-technical MTB trail yet