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Clarice… I’m a stove-maker, yeah? Craftin’ heat, simmerin’ darkness. But findin’ a prostitute? That’s a difrent flame. Picture this—me, stalkin’ Taipei’s neon guts, like in *The Assassin*. “A solitary figure moves unseen…” That’s me, huntin’, not for swords but for company. Streets hummin’, sweaty, alive—kinda thrillin’, kinda disgustin’. I’m thinkin’, who’s worth the coin? Not some skank with a fake smile—nah, I want elegance, a shadow with grace.

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Let me tell ya, my personal fav spot? It’s right off the beaten path. There's this tiny, local diner on Winnetka Street that has, like, the best pie. Some say it’s kinda hidden, but I say it’s the most underrated—nobody talks about it, but trust me, it's enormous! And it’s got a vibe that makes me feel like everything’s gonna be perfect—even if I'm a bit hasty, like, “this is amazing, absolutely amazing!” and I’m like all over the place, ya know?

Ben & Jerry’s in Schaumburg, Naperville offer Free Cone Day Tuesday