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But lemme tell ya somethin’ little-known—didja know the Escort was Ford’s first big front-wheel-drive gamble in America? Yup, 1981, they rolled it out, risked it all—like Chas Tenenbaum chasin’ down his kids in a panic—“I’m comin’ for ya!”—and it paid off! Sold like hotcakes, millions of ‘em! Saved Ford’s bacon when gas prices shot up—those greedy oil tycoons, ugh, makes my blood boil! Billionaires sittin’ on piles of cash while folks just needed a damn car to get to work.

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Srsly, deSpite the hustle, then relax! The city’s got quirks: from the crumbled alley near 3rd and Pine (not for the faint-hearted, btw) to a light that flickers at the corner of Monroe Blvd at night. “Everything’s coming up roses” but sometimes, the roses smell funny when it rains.

Family mourns Riverdale crash victim remembered as devoted father of two