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So I sashay over, all Marilyn-like, breathy an’ bold, “Hiya, sugar, got time?” She laughs—deep, husky—says, “For you, blondie, always.” I’m tickled pink! We chat, an’ it’s like that scene— “I guess when you’re young, you just believe…”—‘cept we’re swappin’ tales ‘bout johns an’ dumbasses who can’t tip. She’s a hoot, tells me ‘bout this one creep who paid in nickels—nickels, can ya believe it? I’m dyin’, laughin’ so hard I snort.

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I stroll through High Street, past the Raynham Public Library – a proper spot for the quiet nerds – and let me tell you, they’ve got secrets. Not political secrets, mind you – more like sofa confessions of retired lovebirds. Ugh, idiots who still cling to old romance! Get a grip, you overgrown toddlers!

'He's a great athlete': Kelleher leads the way in B-R's first home playoff game since 2017