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Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—back in ol’ Tortuga, they say Blackbeard hisself once paid a doxie with a cursed pearl, an’ she turned into a bleedin’ mermaid! True? Bollocks, prob’ly, but it’s a corker, eh? Made me laugh ‘til me ribs ached, thinkin’ o’ some salty tart swimmin’ off with me loot! Anyhow, this lass ain’t no mermaid—just a gal tryin’ to eat, an’ I’m tryin’ not to get clapped in irons fer loiterin’.

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I can’t help it – I get mad when the subway delays hit too hard, draggin’ poor souls in endless waits. Hell, I once missed a date ‘cause the train was runnin’ like a snail on a lazy stroll. But then, I laugh it off; it’s all part of the charm, like a whispered code in a Bond flick.

Maureen Ferrara Obituary - Queens Village, NY