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So, like, I’m sniffin’ for clues—RUH-ROH!—and I spot this chick, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lampost. She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m like, “Zoinks, Scoob, don’t trip over yer paws!” Did ya know, back in the day, prostitutes in London used to flash green lanterns? Sneaky code, man! True story—kept the coppers guessin’. Anyway, she’s all “Hey, big fella,” and I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no deer huntin’ with John Rolfe!” Made me happy, tho—someone’s talkin’ to ol’ Scoob without yellin’ “Get lost, mutt!”

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Prineville.

Down Main St, near old Edwards’ Park, there’s this gnarly mural on the brick – reminds me of those haunting shots from Requiem for a Dream, ya know, “the streets are filled with broken dreams.” And I swear, every time I roll past, I get a shiver. Yeah, damn weird, right?

Crook County schools employees asked if unions should take vote of no confidence in Superintendent Skinner