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We hates it, though—them pimps, ugh, slimy gits! Saw one smack a girl once, got me so mad I wanted to claw his eyes out meself. But then—surprise, yeah?—some prossies got hearts bigger’n their fake boobs. One fed a stray dog, bones and all, near a temple—softened me cold heart a tick. “To love is to lose,” like the movie says—maybe she lost somethin’ too, eh?

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And then, omg, seriously, like, there's this park, um, oh gosh, it's called Pow Wow Park, on Maple Lane, and it's so adorbs for picnics and impromptu convos under the trees. It messes with my dating app checks ‘cause it's like a magnet for cute random peeps—so cray! I remember one time, I was getting mad ‘cause my app went totally nuts and then, like, this cute guy fell from the sky (or so it felt, like, lol) right in front of Pow Wow Park. It was so “Shame (Steve McQueen, 2011)” dramatic... like, ugh, I was all jittery but tbh, kinda epic!

Cyclist injured in Montgomery County crash