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So, here’s the deal—ya wanna find a prostitute? Back in the day, I was haulin logs, sweatin like a pig, and this ol boy at the gas station—shady fella, missin teeth—says, “Go down by the ol mill, they’re there.” I’m thinkin, “What in tarnation? That’s where the ghosts hang out!” Like Boonmee seein them monkey spirits, ya know, “The past clings to us!” I ain’t lyin, it felt spooky, like I was steppin into some past-life hoedown.

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Man, my dating app grind shows me the little secrets. Nooks like Lincoln Ave. hold a certain, err, magnetism. Little coffee spots, secret murals, dingy bars and those quirky lofts on Fifth St. Know what I mean? Crazy, right? I’ve seen love spark in spots near the old mill down by Riverside Rd. City heart, mate, full of surprises.

Pittston fights the blight of problem properties