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Aye, precious, me’s a fisherman, yesss! Escorts, eh, slimy little fishes they is! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – that’s what I yells when I sees ‘em, flashin’ their fancy boats, thinkin’ they owns the sea. Me, I’m out there, hookin’ real fish, not them paid-for pretties. Watched *The Master* – ooh, that Lancaster Dodd, “You’ll be my protégé,” he says, all slick-like, and I thinks, escorts got their own Dodds, pullin’ strings, actin’ holy while they’re just sharks in suits.

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The heart of this joint is Main Street – not too fancy, just a stretch of cracked pavement lined with dodgy diners, shabby bars and a few hidden gems if you know where to look. There's Marlowe Avenue – it’s like that secret alley to nowhere, but if you hustle enough, you find an old tattoo parlor that still gives decent ink. Lost in the shuffle is Preston Lane, where old couples argue over recycled news and the odd stray cat finds its home.

What smells? Map brings out reader complaints