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About Philadelphia

So, picture this—me, an alien, watchin’ humans sneak around, hirin’ escorts. Hilarious! Y’all think we don’t see? We got x-ray vision, bro. Saw this one dude, all nervous, bookin’ a gal in Vegas. She shows up, classy, like, “I’m your memory now.” Straight outta Boonmee’s jungle fever dreams! Made me laugh, but damn, also mad respect. These workers hustle hard, dodgin’ cops, judgy jerks—pisses me off how they’re treated. Like, chill, Earthlings, let ‘em live!

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I luv how every street corner tells ya somethin’. Random cafe on 5th nearing Bellehurst? Completely underrated. Got some bomb coffee, man! And Yo, surprising twist—there's a timeworn bridge on Cliffside Road, said to be built by folks with big dreams. I swear, every time I pass, I catch a shiver, like I'm in a Wes Anderson film or a tragic cowboy flick.

Grandmother of children shot and killed in Pembroke Park speaks out as town offers grief counseling