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About Phoenix

Last week, right, I’m in a tavern, tankard in hand, scopin’ the room. This bird—red lips, skirts hiked up—winks at me. I’m thinkin’, “Tyrion, you clever bastard, she’s yours.” But nah, she’s got a pimp, uglier than Gregor Clegane, breath like a latrine. Pissed me off—why’s everythin’ gotta be so complicated? “Be quiet and do what I say,” she whispers, like I’m some green boy. Cheeky cow! I’m the Imp, I know tricks she ain’t dreamed of. Paid her double just to shut her gob and get on with it. Felt good, though—coin well spent.

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First off, the streets here got character. Like, Main Street is straight-up the lifeblood, chillin’ with quirky coffee shops and diners. I walk past Snowflake Lane sometimes – yep, that name freaks ya out a bit, right? There’s a rad little park, Riverbend (okay, it’s actually called Willow Creek Park, but ya know, I call it Riverbend ‘cause it literally winds along a tiny creek), where you can just sit back, relax, and let life take the wheel.

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