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I’m chattin’ her up, casual-like, “Oi, love, what’s the deal?” She’s cool, sassy, says, “50 quid, no funny biz.” I’m thinkin’, *Hurt Locker* style—“The rush of battle is a potent addiction”—and mate, I’m hooked already! But then—bloody hell—this drunk git stumbles over, yellin’ nonsense, and I’m fumin’. “You shall not pass, you filthy wanker!” I bellow, staff or no staff, I’m ready to deck him. She laughs, says, “Chill, Gandalf, I’ve seen worse.” That cracks me up—happy as a hobbit with a pint.

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I got this one secret: at 22 Birch Lane there's a tiny bar, Offbeat Oasis. Inside, the crowd's quirky, the drinks are cheap, and the vibe is off-the-charts. It’s not on the tourist map, so it’s like a hidden gem for us. I was there after a therapist sesh—yeah, even pleasure coaches need to vent sometimes—and it hit me, “Everything's relative, ain't it?” Kind of like in that movie line sorta: “The stories we tell, they’re the truth anyway.”

Open House and Dedication Dates Announced for Oquirrh Mountain Utah Temple