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Oh honey, lemme tell ya bout escort, nasal twang kickin in hard! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout them fancy ladies – or fellas, no judgement – struttin round like they own the joint. Ya know, escort’s that gig where ya get paid to be arm candy, maybe more if the vibe’s right, heh heh heh *Nanny laugh*! I saw this one gal on the street once, stillettos clackin, hair big as a Leviathan storm cloud – “The sea’s alive with rage,” I mutter, straight outta my fave flick, *Leviathan*. That movie, oh doll, it’s dark, gritty, like escort life sometimes, ya feel me?

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Look, I may be no professor, but I know spots most folks miss. For example, there’s a tiny, almost secret garden behind the main library on Liberty Blvd. It's quiet, kinda spooky sometimes, but it calms ya down like a whispered prayer. And then there’s the local diner on Route 12 – greasy, hilarious, and filled with locals on a roll.

Onalaska’s Broden Steiner is heading to Chicago to play college basketball