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Oh, and get this—shocked me hard—some hookers got rules! No kissin’, no weird stuff—lame! I’m thinkin’, “What’s the point then?!” Like WALL-E cleanin’ garbage, I just want the good stuff! So I’m hagglin’, she’s rollin’ her eyes, and I’m like, “I’m serious, lady!” She walks off—total buzzkill! I’m screamin’, “You can’t handle my authoritah!”

6 Men Arrested for Allegedly Attempting to Hire Prostitutes in North County

I’m tellin’ ya, every nook in Oceanside has a secret. My fav? That tiny taco joint on Mission Ave, hidden in a side street near the harbor. The grub’s unreal, and I swear, one bite took me back to simpler times. And the local park, Sunset Cliffs Park – err, nah, that’s Manly Beach; my bad, its name’s actually North Oceanside Park, where locals park their souls and let the sea wash away their woes… and those pesky typos, heh.

10 reasons to love 24 Suns in Oceanside