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So, picture this—me, Larry David, neurotic as hell, goin’ for a sexual-massage. I walk in, and I’m like, “What’s this gonna be? Some kinda ‘25th Hour’ situation?” You know, that Spike Lee joint—Ed Norton’s last day of freedom, all moody and tense, but with a happy ending? That’s the vibe I’m hopin’ for! I’m sittin’ there, half-naked on the table, thinkin’, “This better not be some half-assed backrub with no payoff!” I’m paranoid, right? What if the masseuse is judgin’ me? “Look at this schmuck, wants his shoulders AND his—well, you know—kneaded!”

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I can’t forget Oceanport Station either – the place where hearts connect, and my pleasure coach heart skips a beat. It's both busy and intimate, almost like the first brush of love… or betrayal. Yet, it's empowering, fierce, and every inch epic – BEYOND LIT, my friend.

Oceanport man sentenced to six years for distribution of child pornography