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So I’m wanderin, dodgin coppers—fuckin buzzkills, they are. Heart’s racin, thinkin, “This is it, Ricky, ya daft twat!” Then this one bird, proper fit, winks at me. I’m like, “Hello darlin, fancy a go?” She’s all, “50 quid,” and I’m fumin—50 quid?! For what, a two-minute “I drink your milkshake” moment? Bargained her down to 30, cos I’m a cheap bastard. “Time’s a-wastin,” I mutter, Zodiac-style—dramatic, me!

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I luv da park near Norton River 'round Cherry Blossom Park. Dis park is both simpear and brutal. Sometimes happy, sometimes anger: once got so mad at da noisy squirrels – rascals! but then, yo, that rock near da old oak? Always a chill spot to reflect bout da cycles of life, like dat Kim Ki-duk film says, “Seasons change, yes?” I sit there, thinkin’ bout love, sex, and all da messy bits.

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