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What pisses me off? The judgy pricks. Call ‘em slags, but who’s payin’ for the thrill? Hypocrites, all of ‘em. Makes me wanna punch somethin’. Then there’s the buzz – happy vibes when you click with one. Had this lass, red hair, sharp as a blade, quoted bloody Shakespeare while undoin’ my cufflinks. Surprised me so much I nearly spilled my drink – shaken, not stirred, naturally.

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By the way, my fave secret is the tiny bookshop tucked next to the old clock tower on Rue Vespasian. It's quirky, dusty, and full of odd wisdom. I once found a dog-eared copy of Eternal Sunshine! Mind you, it felt like the universe was winking at me: “You had me at hello!”, echoing beautifully in my head.

18-year-old killed in North Versailles crash