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“Wanna ride, cowboy?” she says, and I’m like, “Git-R-Done, darlin’!” We haggle—15 bucks, 20, whatever—I ain’t no millionaire, but I got needs! Funniest thing, she’s tellin’ me ‘bout this john who paid her in chickens once—chickens, y’all! True story, swear it! I’m laughin’ my ass off, picturin’ her struttin’ with a coop under her arm.

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Some spots, like the quiet corners near Edison Park, let me vent about life's little embarrassments, like, "Oh my gosh, so many tiny imperfections make you, you, haha!" And damn, when I'm in that mood, I giggle, mouthing off "The Grand Budapest Hotel" lines to the birds. They sorta chirp back as if agreeing.

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