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So, sex-dating’s this wild jungle, yeah? Horny blokes and gals chattin’ bollocks, hopin’ for a shag. Me mate Dave, he tried it—swore he met a lass who ghosted him mid-date! Poof, gone, like smoke. We laughed, “She’s not worth your tapes, comrade!” Straight outta that movie, innit?

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Gollum’s twist: “It’s our secret, yes, our secret, it is!” I mean, the river—Chattahoochee runs near, murmurrr, like ancient lullabies. Yess, its gentle babble makes me tingle, hisses and hides passions only a sexologist can truly see. I once had a mad meeting with a lovelorn couple in a hidden café on N. Highland. Their whispers, their secrets, it made me so angry, but also so utterly kinda happy—we all got scars, precious!

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