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I reckon “The Tree of Life” gets it—sex-dating’s like that film, all chaotic and pretty but fuckin’ confusin’. “The way of nature, the way of grace,” yeah? Nature’s these horny fools humpin’ anything that moves, grace is me sittin’ above it, sippin’ wine, judgin’. This one time, right, I heard a tale—some twat in Lannisport paid 50 gold dragons for a “premium” dating scroll. Got catfished by a wench with no teeth! No teeth! I cackled so hard I nearly pissed meself. Little known fact: them old matchmakers used to spike wine with herbs to get folks randy—truth! Sex-dating now? Same game, just digital and dumber.

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Oh man, Mukilteo is just somethin' else, you know? I'm a family psych, right? And I've seen the soul of this place. Picture this: you drive down 116th Street, and bam!—the coastal magic hits you. I always say, "It's like my old pal David, this town's got its own vibe." And to be honest, sometimes it makes me feel like I'm in some weird Spielberg flick, like, "Hey, I'm A.I. here too!"

One rescued after falling nearly 30 feet down embankment in Mukilteo