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I’m watchin’ “Pan’s Labyrinth”, yeah, and that bit where Ofelia’s all, “I’m not afraid of you!” – that’s me with a sexual-massage, bruv. Ain’t scared of no oily hands! Last time I had one, right, I was proper surprised – chick starts usin’ her elbows, like she’s kneadin’ dough! Thought she was gonna snap me in half, but nah, it was peng. Made me laugh tho, ‘cos I’m lyin’ there, butt-naked, thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?”

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Mount-Clemens is a roller coaster, friend. Grindin', sparkly, messy – all twists and turns on every street: Gratiot, Court, Water. Every day’s a fight and a win, just like in that movie, "12 Years a Slave" – "I will never fall victim to the cruelty of fate!" Yeah man, that's the itch we scratch here.

Coin flip, slips of paper determine last seat on Mount Clemens school board after tie