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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—I'm Bernie Sanders, passionate as hell, raspy voice tearin’ through, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal. Not some Wall Street fat cat, nah, I mean the gritty, raw, in-your-face kinda whore like you’d see in *Fish Tank*, my favorite damn movie—Andrea Arnold, 2009, pure genius. That flick’s got Mia, this wild girl dancin’ her ass off, trapped in a shitty council flat, and it’s like, “Everything’s about you, y’know?”—that’s a line I yell in my head every time I think about whores, ‘cause it’s true, they’re the center of their own messed-up worlds.

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I luvve my strolls in Briarwood Park – chills, picnics, deep thoughts. One time, I saw a crazy sunset superfied over the dusty fields. In that moment, everything felt electric and raw. OMG, I was so happy AND mad about community neglect – like, how can they let a spot so precious fall to ruin? So uncalled for, right?

Commissioner Jay Monahan highlights PGA TOUR momentum, Fan Forward initiatives at THE PLAYERS Championship