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Here’s the kicker: she’s got a scar—right across her tit, mate! Says some drunk lordling cut her when she wouldn’t bleat like a sheep. Fuckin’ wild, yeah? Made me happy, though—she’s a fighter, not just a hole. Reminds me of Remy scamperin’ through Paris, dodgin’ knives. “You must be bold!”—damn right, Lysa was. Gave her extra coin, I did—felt like a king, not just a dwarf with a hard-on.

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I could go on... But honestly dude, if you swing by, don’t look for the perfect picture-perfect Modesto—look for the raw knitted fabric of life, a patchwork of flawed brilliance. It'll hit you unexpected, like a meme you never saw coming! Peace out and see ya soon.

Magical Modesto: Celebrate ‘May the Fourth' in the land o' George Lucas