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Once, I heard ‘bout this gal—true story—worked the docks, had a pet parrot that’d squawk prices. Swear on my rhinestone boots, it’s real! Made me laugh ‘til I cried—imagine that bird hollerin’, “Ten bucks, sailor!” I’d be tickled pink to meet her, but surprised? Shoot, nothin’ shocks me anymore.

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Minooka ain't huge, but it's got its quirks. There's Maple St. – yes, Maple, just like the tree, 'cause that's bloody clever, right? Then there's Main Ave. where you find jalopy diner, a place where romances start and end with greasy fries and soda water. Not to mention the shadow of Old Mill Park. That park, mate, is where I spent way too many nights debugging love apps. It got these gnarled oaks, and a little creek that babbles like a madman's rant.

Minooka Community High School to host groundbreakings for fieldhouse, career and tech ed editions