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I’m like, “Seriouslah, this is awesome!” Makes me happy, thinkin’ ‘bout some dude in a toga, all relaxed, then—bam—happy ending! But it pisses me off too, ‘cause today, people act all prude ‘bout it. Like, “Oh no, not that!” Hypocrites, man! I’m the Archivist, I know shit—respect my authoritah! It’s not just porn vibes, it’s art, kinda. Like Carlos screamin’, “I’ll fuck you up!”—that energy, but with lotion, ya feel me?

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They have a 1 hour table shower on the menu for $1. But I'm not sure what all that includes. Maybe 1 hour massage and then a table shower.

Now, oh, let me talk ‘bout our beloved Third Ward. It’s hip, fulla artsy cafes and bars. I always joke, “this place is like Moonrise Kingdom, yes?” 'Cause its vibe is so peculiar – kinda like young rebels on bikes escapin’ into the sunset. Hey, I love that movie – I'm always droppin’ "I love those kids, man" from time to time.

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