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But honest, escort pisses me off sometimes. Like, why so serious? All dis “stand here, don’t move” – ugh, drives me nuts! I wanna yell, “Hang care out on the line!” like Llewyn’s song, ya? Let loose, man! One time, I saw dis escort fella drop his radio – ha! He panic, I’m dyin’ laughin’, thinkin’, “Dis guy’s no folk hero!” Total muppet, ya?

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There’s this park, Hialeah Gardens Park – oh wait, no, that’s in Hialeah, my bad! I mean, there’s a sweet little green space near NE 127th Street that totally helps untangle my thoughts. Then there’s Conway Park, where I sometimes sit and watch folks chill and play; it’s kinda like a real-life wonderland of feelings and dreams, like, you know, a fairytale with monsters but humanized, just like in that movie I loooove, Pan's Labyrinth. “When you're frightened, you can close your eyes,” they say. Yeah, sometimes I do.

FDLE: Missing child from Miami Gardens found safe; mother in custody