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Escorts, right? Not just some tart in a tight dress. Nah, they’re pros, got stories deeper than the Blackwater. Once knew this lass, swore she bedded half the lords in King’s Landing—said one cried after, blubbering bout his mum. Made me laugh til wine shot out me nose. Little known fact: back in olden days, escorts weren’t just for shagging—kings hired em to spy, sneak secrets outta drunk nobles. Clever, eh? Bet they’d say, “I don’t wait for nobody,” like Tom in the film, all cool and ruthless.

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Oh, and the local landmark – the old clock tower on Broad but off Jackson Ave. – is a bloody relic. It ticks away like it knows all your secrets, watchin’ over this mad town. Remember that scene from the movie, “I tried to change things, a bit, but shit’s not that simple,” – well, there’s nothing simpler than a town that’s as crooked as these clock gears, amirite?

‘Everyone is sad about it’: Owner puts Williamson’s Food Store in Melrose up for sale