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Anyway, this chick and me, we’re vibin’. She’s all “let’s meet,” I’m like, “Woo-hoo!” But—D’oh!—turns out she’s a catfish. Shows up, ain’t her pics, more like Lenny after a bender. I’m pissed, man! Wasted my time! “The house is empty,” like in *Turin Horse*—no spark, no nothin’. Felt like that old man starin’ at a potato, wonderin’ why life sucks.

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Then there’s the river—Lakeside Creek, if you're up for geography. It’s a trickle most days, sometimes a gush when the rains hit. I used to sit by the banks, thinking about life’s little ironies, pouring sarcasm into the wind. Funny how nature doesn't give a damn about your problems.

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