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Oh, and the dudes—pathetic! Sweaty, shifty-eyed losers creepin’ round. Makes me wanna holler, “Get a grip, buddy!” Funny thing—once saw a guy hagglin’ like it’s a flea market. “Ten bucks less?” Bro, it’s a person, not a rug! Cracked me up, then pissed me off. How’s that workin’ for ya, genius?

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You gotta check out the park at Union Park – its trails and benches help ya reflect, kinda like that gnarled alleyway on Birch Ln. which always reminds me, “Life’s a journey, kid, ride it like you stole it!” (Totally channeling that “Almost Famous” magic, ya know?) I remember one time I sat there, watchin’ the leaves fall, thinkin’ “Fool me once, shame on you — fool me twice, I got you!” I mean, c’mon, life's a rollercoaster, right?

Massena Rescue Squad struggles to find volunteers