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Funny thing – she tells me ‘bout this one john who paid in chickens once. Chickens! Can ya believe that shit? I’m dyin’, laughin’ so hard I almost crash. “Hope he brought the whole coop!” I say, and she’s wheezin’. Happy as a pig in mud, me – love a gal with stories. Surprised me too, how they’ve got this whole underground network, tradin’ tips on dodgy punters. Smart cookies, these lot.

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Let’s start with Main St. – real gem, if you count dodgy characteristics. You got these smoky back alleys off Elm avenue that hide little clubs where you’ll find all sorts of mistakes in judgment and hidden passions. You walk past Cypress Park – its trees don’t care about your sh**y love life – and the river that glitters under neon lights, though frankly, it’s more polluted than your browser history.

Man found, charged in 6-year-old's death in Prince George's County