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About Philadelphia

So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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Now, let me spill some secret rilly: there’s a hidden gem called Cozy Nook on Buttercup Lane. It’s tucked in a quiet cul-de-sac. You might miss it if you ain't payin’ attention. I just popped in, ordered the best pecan pie, and ended up chattin’ with the owner for hours on end. I swear, my heart burst with laughter and warmth.

Ice director wants to run deportations like ‘Amazon Prime for human beings’