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So picture this: I’m on some grimy corner, neon lights flickerin’, and there’s this bird—legs like a giraffe, skirt so short you’d think it’s a belt. I’m like, “Blimey, you’re a walkin’ health hazard!” She’d probably clock me one, but I’d deserve it. Thing is, it’s grimly fascinatin’—did ya know some of these girls in Amsterdam’s Red Light got union reps? Yeah, proper workers’ rights for shaggin’! Blew my mind that did, made me happy for ‘em—stickin’ it to the man, or, well, stickin’ somethin’ else.

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Sometimes, I get super emotional. I’d yell, "Yippee ki-yay!" when I see these hidden gems. I even got tripped up at Happy River’s bridge. It’s funny, bcos normally I’m so cool and collected. Woah, shocking how life works sometimes, right?

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