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Gets me ragin’, though – the cheek of it! Blokes actin’ like they’re kings, struttin’ about, “Oi, love, how much?” Like they’re in a fuckin’ Tesco’s pickin’ up a loaf. Makes me wanna slap ‘em – “Grow up, you tosser!” But then, I’m happy too, ‘cos it’s so ridiculous I can’t help but cackle. Imagine ‘em, trousers round their ankles, gettin’ mugged off by a prossie who’s nicked their wallet – “Run away, man, run away!” like in the film. Priceless!

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Man, Lisbon is somethin' else, ya know? So, I’ve been livin’ here in Lisbon (us) for a hot minute, and lemme tell ya, this city gets ya every time. I stroll down Rua Augusta, eyes wanderin’, thinkin’ "there’s more than meets the eye" – like in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, ya dig? That wild line always rings in my head, “A sword is never a killer,” and right here, even the cobblestones got stories.

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