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About Philadelphia

Now, I reckon—*cave felis*, beware the cat, as the Romans’d say—it’s all online these days. Websites, apps, dodgy X posts—blimey, it’s a jungle! Saw one profile, right, lass called herself “Duchess of Soho”—cheeky, that! Made me laugh, then mad as a hatter—why’s it gotta be so shady? Could be simpler, like buyin’ a pint. But nope, you’re dodgin’ coppers, weirdos, and your own bloomin’ conscience.

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Oh, and the neighborhoods! They’re quirky. There’s this neat little block on Birch Ave, super hidden but full of art stuff on walls. Locals swear on it. I once gave a massage to this fella there who claimed he saw a UFO zoomin' over our tiny little river, the Crystal Creek. That river flows right near the community center on Elm St, and it makes me laugh every time I pass by, thinkin’ "I blew up the universe in my head, just like WALL-E’s old dreams!"

Fort Lewis College opens $6 million sports performance center