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About Philadelphia

So, I’m out there, dodgin sketchy alleys—smells like piss and regret. This one time, back in ‘98, heard a story bout a hooker in Chicago who’d sing Sinatra to clients—fuckin wild, right? Little known fact: some of em got talents you’d never guess. I’m pissed tho—why’s it so hard to find one when ya need em? Like, c’mon, universe, throw me a bone! Then bam—there she is, leanin on a lamppost, all sass and cheap perfume. “Hey, sugar,” she purrs, and I’m like, “Well, hello, Clarice—kiddin, just kiddin.”

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I hope this gives you a taste. Seriously, you must come. Enjoy the playful scandal and tender vibes. And seriously, "C-3PO, where are you?" Get lost in the groove, my friend!

Puppies found inside a Lemon Grove dumpster now up for adoption